


Run! -Titan Jean story

by Marque



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Boxer Titan, Character Death, Friendship/Love, Gen, Titan Jean Kirstein, Titan origins theory, Titan!Jean, because yes sadly Marco is dead, but who knows maybe we'll do something about it, more tags to come as the story goes, past Jeanmarco - Freeform, surprise surprise
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-20
Updated: 2014-03-22
Packaged: 2018-01-16 09:38:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1342729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marque/pseuds/Marque
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"It was an at least 15 meter class. It’s face was contorted in some hideous parody of a smile. It’s eyes were dead. And it was the most terrifying sight Jean had ever seen, the monster opening his jaws to swallow him whole.</p>
<p>No. Not like this.<br/>Run.<br/>Punch.<br/>Kick.<br/>Do not give up.<br/>RUN!"</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Run Boy Run

**Author's Note:**

> I'm obssessed with titan!Jean concept so I wrote my own version of how and why he would change. You can treat it as a prologue to a bigger story that's forming in my head.
> 
> I need a proper beta... Forgive for the mistakes.
> 
> My idea for Titan!Jean was inspired by amazing art of [scoutology](scoutology.tumblr.com) and [alatherna](http://alatherna.tumblr.com/post/68614916123/titan-jean-done-in-11-2013-so-im-kinda-in-a)  
> Go check out their blogs and amazing art!

He didn’t expect it to hurt this much, the whole dying thing. Stumbling through the grass, he was gritting his teeth but the painful wheezing sounds still escaped him. He knew it was useless to try and run  - there was nowhere to hide on the open plains. But there was a bunch of trees a few more meters ahead and he made it his goal to reach there. At least there. He couldn’t escape the titans now, it was only the matter of time until one took his interest in him, but Jean was desperate. No way he was fucking giving up now! Fuck his leg, ripped open and bleeding like a motherfucker. Fuck how light his head felt and how much his ribs hurt after the fall, and how heavy the gear was because he didn’t think to leave it behind. He was going to make it to those fucking trees over there. If he was to die, he would fight till his last breath, or at least choose the place he’d die at. No. Fucking. Giving. Up. Now.

Just a few more steps now. If you could even call them steps, the way he dragged his left leg, marking his path with a wide trace of blood. So fucking weak. Whole world was swaying or maybe it was just him. Behind the trees someone died, screaming in agony as the titan crushed their head. _I’m going to die the same way_ , he thought to himself, shivering in fear and tripping. He fell to the ground, wailing in agony as the fall made his leg bend, more blood sprouting from his wound and the bone cracking further, sticking out like a nightmare. He couldn’t even get up, fingers digging into the ground and tears blurring his vision. He was so scared, _so fucking scared!_

He wasn’t sure if he heard or rather felt the steps, something big approaching. Idle thought crossed his mind – what class would the titan be? He didn’t want to be eaten by a fucking 3 meter midget. Oh god let it be some huge motherfucker. It would probably hurt the same. And he would die. Why was he caring about how?

It took all his strength to turn around but he needed to, he wanted to see, he needed to be brave. He wanted to look that disgusting thing in the eyes and…

Time stopped.

It was an at least 15 meter class. It’s face was contorted in some hideous parody of a smile. It’s eyes were dead. And it was the most terrifying sight Jean had ever seen, the monster opening his jaws to swallow him whole.

_No. Not like this._

_Run._

_Punch._

_Kick._

_Do not give up._

_RUN!_

Everything exploded. His bones, flesh and his mind. Thousands of strings tied him with burning strength. He was howling in fear and his voice sounded like hundred canons all at once. His fingers twitched but suddenly all pain was gone. He breathed and it was steam, steam everywhere, thick and hot. He roared and ran.

He heard more screams, orders shouted in panic. Were there more titans coming? He looked around, confused. Why had that 15 meter one leave him alone? Or was he dead already? He felt more alive than ever. He felt strong. He felt huge. Or was it that the world was small?

He came to a sudden halt, feet digging into the ground. He raised his hands to his face and blinked. Those weren’t his hands. Covered with some white crystal substance that formed something like gloves, with thorns on his knuckles. But he felt it. He felt this white thing as if it was a part of his body. He felt the same cover over his elbows, knees, feet. He felt the same, curved spikes there as well. It was alive. It was him. And then it hit him.

Or rather, it bit him. The same titan he ran away from now dig his teeth into his thigh. Except that he wasn’t as huge now. It was smaller than him, strangely fragile but his bite hurt all the same. He roared and smashed his fist into the titans head, breaking it’s skull in half. He then kicked it’s torso with his knee and felt the thorns ripping it’s hot flesh. And it felt good.

Pieces of everything started to fall in place in his mind as he kicked away the titan’s body. He turned and looked over the field, shocked with how good his sight was. Though he was really high (or tall perhaps, that was why his eyes were so high above the ground now), he could easily see his comrades galloping away to escape the titans. They were leaving him. They were fucking leaving him!

He shoot running after them without a second thought. No way he was going to be left here, behind the walls! They took that fucker Jaeger inside so they could as well take him in too! Shit. So he was like Eren now… A titan. A monster. That still seemed unreal. But at the same time, very real, his feet pounding against the ground as he was catching up to them quickly. He was faster than his mind could process at the moment.

Then he roared after them.

_Don’t you dare fucking leave me here!_

He saw the soldiers turn in their saddles, heard the cries of fear, shouts asking for orders. Good, they noticed him. He grinned widely, speeding up even more.

***

 

Tch! Fucking aberrant had to choose to follow them now. They were in retreat anyway, they lost so many, more than a half and mostly the young kids. Levi watched the creature catch up with them and frowned. It was fast. Way too fast even for something this big. And it’s looks… He gritted his teeth.

“Go as fast as you can! I’ll take care of it!” He shouted an order to the soldiers closest to him and pulled the reins of his horse. There was no need for more kids dying today. Shifter or not, he was going to cut it. They were nearing the old village so with the buildings it would be easier. He spotted the abandoned town hall’s tower, directing his horse there, pulling out his swords and wincing when the titan roared, almost deafening them all.

“It’s a shifter!”

He turned his head sharply to see Hanji beaming at him with her crazy smile. She wasn’t as happy as usually though, he could tell. Damn well she shouldn’t be fucking happy. This whole mission was one huge failure and a new shifter to fight against was the last thing they needed.

“Go forth Hanij! I’ll take care of it!” He growled at her, jumping up to his horse’s back. He didn’t need her to die here too. She could still be useful with that Jaeger kid. Firing his hooks and he flew, spinning in the air, blades ready, just waiting for that fucker to stick it’s neck under…

***

 

_No!_

He only saw a flash and then his Achilles exploded with pain. Before he even managed to realize what was happening, the same pain ripped through the other and his legs gave in under him, making him fall to his knees. It was Levi, he realized, as the tendons in his left arm were cut. No! His right hand shoot up to his neck to cover it, his mind working quickly and he wailed.

_No! Hanji, don’t let him kill me here!_

He rolled to the left, ducking Heichous blades by inches and he could already feel the burning where they managed to cut before. His flesh was rebuilding, latching itself, tying together but he kept rolling away more until he knew he could stand. He shoot up and cried Hanji’s name but all that left his mouth was a ridiculous whimper. What the hell!? He sounded like a fucking puppy! What the hell was that?!

The blades cut him again and his whimper turned into an angry roar.

_Don’t slice me you fucking midget! It’s me! Jean Kirschtein, not dying today! Don’t fucking slice me_!

He jumped forward to escape the merciless blades and suddenly the horse and the rider were in his reach.

_Hanji! Don’t let that fucker kill me now!_

It was a stupid thing to do probably, but he did it anyway. He grabbed her off the horse, closing in his palm for a moment, making sure to be gentle. Her scared scream made his heart hurt but he didn’t mean to harm her for fuck’s sake. The blades were back, now trying to cut at his hand with which he held Hanji and so he jumped forward, right against them, knocking Levi in midair and rolling in a fail flip. He held his closed palm against this chest, protecting the woman inside it.

_Hanji! It’s me God damn it!_

Those fucking whimpers again. But he didn’t care at the moment, too occupied with staying alive and away from Heichou’s blades. He opened his palm, grabbing Hanji by her jacket and picking her up to his eyes.

_It’s me! Please! Look at me!_

 


	2. Come Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It felt good, so fucking good. The strength, the power. He felt like he could do anything, like he could kill them all, avenge all of his friends that died in uneven battle. Franz. Thomas. Mina. Hanna. And Marco. His Marco. A growl rumbled in his throat. Where were the other titans? He wanted more. To kill more and feel the pleasure of flesh ripping apart under his fingers."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You asked for it and here it is! I got thousand more ideas while writing so this might become a few more chapters long. Also, brace yourself because there is some angst in this chapter. But the bright side is, it comes after lots of epic action!
> 
> Enjoy!

“Levi, stop!” Hanji shouted, raising her hands and waving them desperately where she could see the Captain getting up from the ground. He had been knocked about real bad and even though he was too far for her eyes to see him properly, she was sure he had only bloodlust in his gaze.

“Don’t! Wait! Levi, don’t!’’ She screamed again as he shot up, blades ready, aiming for the titan’s fingers within which she was held and the titan whined again, quickly closing her in his palm. It was tight and hot but it didn’t seem he wanted to crush her or eat her. He was trying to protect her while ducking Levi’s attack at the same time. He was intelligent and he controlled himself perfectly, something she had only seen in the Female Titan so far. Was he another traitor?

She lost her train of thought when the world spun roughly and she felt like a toy in his hand. He must have been rolling again to avoid Levi and whoever he was, he was smart. That was probably the best way to duck Heichou’s attack and the titan understood it. He was getting out of Levi’s range and protecting his vital spots all at once because it was hardly possible for Levi to strike him and not get smashed into the ground. Whoever this titan was, he understood Levi’s strategy better than the Female Titan. He knew exactly how Levi’s attacks worked and for which parts he would aim, just as if he had seen it before. Or maybe even trained with him. This must have been someone from the Corps then, someone close to them, someone…

She gasped when the hand opened and she was picked up again, dangling in the air rather uncomfortably. She could try and fire her hooks, maybe even cut the fingers that held her but understanding who this titan was seemed much more important at the moment. Friend or foe?

He whimpered again, shaking her lightly as if he was trying to tell her something.

“Who are you?” She asked, drawing her blades just in case. He might not seem like he planned to eat her now, but he could change his mind any second. Dying wasn’t her plan. “Who are you?” She repeated, impatiently.

He only whimpered again, pulling her closer to his face and looking at her, desperate and… Scared? Her eyes widened. The hair, longer on the top, messy and mousy. Straight nose, long jaw, honey coloured eyes looking at her with that deep fear.

No. It couldn’t be…

***

_Damn it, Hanji!_

Why wouldn’t she look at him properly, why couldn’t she see!? He glanced to the side again to check if Levi wasn’t trying to attack him again but it seemed he had rolled far enough and apart from him there was nothing to shoot the hooks into. Good. Maybe that fucked up midget would stop trying to kill him now.

“Jean!”

He turned his head sharply, eyes wide in surprise that quickly turned into relief. Finally, God damn it! Hanji was staring at him as if she had trouble believing it so he quickly nodded his head, lowering her onto his palm and keeping it very still so she could stand on her own. He didn’t overlook the blades she still gripped but he was willing to forgive her this one time. To be honest, he was as shocked and scared with this whole thing as she probably was.

 _It’s me you dumbass_ , he wanted to say but again, only a pathetic whimper left him. There must have been something horrendously wrong with his throat as it seemed he could only go for either puppy squeals or mighty roars. Well, it was still a wider range than Jaeger’s so there was that.

“Levi! It’s Jean!” He heard Hanji calling to the Captain who was running towards them now. Without much thought, happy to be finally recognized, he reached for the man only to shriek and pull his hand back when the blades cut through the ends of his fingers where the crystal didn’t cover them. That fucker! Jean stared at his hands, three of his fingers missing but he already felt that burning again and where the flesh was gone, in the clouds of steam, new digits were forming. It was amazing. Shocking but amazing and he drew them closer to his face to just stare in awe at how it happened.

“Jean! Jean, focus!”

Hanji’s calls brought him back to reality and he saw her climbing up his palm to stand on it again. She fired her hooks into his hand and he winced but then he realized she must have almost fallen off when he jumped back because of Levi so maybe it was only wise. It didn’t hurt more than a needle sting anyway.

“Do you understand me, Jean?” She asked, wearing than nutty, excited grin again and he nodded. She looked so tiny! Like a doll or not even that. Just… Really tiny, compared to his hand. And Levi! He eyed the man, who now stood on the ground, teeth gritted, blades in hand and ready to shoot up and kill him any moment if he made one wrong move. He looked tiny too, but somehow not funny as Hanji. Probably because of that deadly glare.

“Jean what happened? Why did you change? Why didn’t you TELL ME you could change?” He heard Hanji shout questions to him and there was a bit of… Disappointment in her voice? Or was it distrust he was sensing, even despite how she beamed with joy of finding herself a new specimen. He knew she was madly excited to interact with another shifter. Why did it have to be him, though?

He shook his head, trying to say “I don’t know”, but only whimpers escaped him again and she clapped her hands in mirth at the sounds.

“He understands! Levi, he’s sane!” She called down to the Captain but it didn’t change his posture at all.

“Great! Now tell him to change back so we can go home for fuck’s sake!” Came Levi’s angered reply but Jean didn’t think Hanji heard him, too busy taking in his titan appearance, talking to herself about the details of his body.

“Facial features resembling his human form much more than in Eren’s case. And he’s taller! Just look at that! At least seventeen meters! And this!” With delight she pointed to his other hand, covered in the crystal glove. “This must be the hardened skin, or the armour!”

“Hanji, you stupid fuck! Get him to change back! Erwin halted the rest and more titans can come any second!” Levi shouted from the ground but again but his words didn’t reach Hanji and didn’t break her process of taking mental notes of everything. But Levi was right. Jean looked over the plains, seeing that the horses had stopped but the riders didn’t get off. A small group of four was galloping their way and he recognized Mike there, and few other higher ranked men. This was no good, the titans could come out of the forest any moment even if they seemed too occupied with their dead comrades for now…

_Hanji!_

He roared at the woman on his hand and immediately noticed Levi getting ready to jump at him. Fuck, too loud and angry. He desperately waved at him not to, lowering Hanij to him on his hand so the two could talk. He had no idea what he should do now, though a plan was beginning to form in his head. If he could stay like this and just run after them to the walls he could protect them from the titans and prevent more deaths. But then… He remembered Eren’s trial. It would probably be best if they could keep his ability a secret. And that could be much easier than in Jeager’s case, seeing as he didn’t really have any trouble controlling himself. He knew who he was, though he still had no idea HOW he could possibly be a titan.

There was only one flaw to this plan. He had absolutely no idea how to change back.

“Jean! Jean pick me up again!” Hanji called and he complied, raising her to his eye level.

“Listen, you need to change back but not yet!”

Great. He nodded anyway, because what was he supposed to do?

“Take me and Levi to the rest and as soon as were there, you have to change back! Can you do that?”

He hesitated for a moment. He had no idea how to change back. He had no idea how he even changed in the first place, so to speak but… Well, he was hurt and scared, his objective to run away… As much as Eren had told him about his shifting, those were the key points. But changing back was a completely different thing and Eren didn’t even remember how he done that. Shit.

He shook his head.

 _I don’t know how_ , he tried to say, but again, just those ridiculous whimpers. God, why?  Hanji tilted her head at him and frowned.

“Can you get us there?”

He nodded quickly.

“Okay, let’s go then and we’ll worry about the rest later! Go, pick up Levi!”

Oh. He looked down at the Captain and the blades he still held. Did he know about this plan or was Jean going to lose his fingers again? He lowered his hand very slowly towards Levi, looking at him and trying to tell him he really meant no harm with his gaze only. He might have been seventeen meters tall now, but he has trained with Levi. He knew how impossibly good the man was. He knew exactly how he could kill him even now. There was no shame in feeling the respect.

He saw Levi grit his teeth and then he jumped onto Jean’s palm, gripping his swords tighter.

“One wrong move and I will slice you, you understand?” The man growled and Jean nodded quickly, raising him up.

“If he gets us killed, it will be your fucking fault, shitty glasses!” Levi snarled at Hanji but she was grinning again, patting Jean’s huge thumb.

“He won’t! He’s completely sane and in control so it’s just the Kirschtein you know.”

“Was that supposed to make it better?” Levi barked and Jean just sighed, standing up properly and closing his hands around the two people a bit so they wouldn’t fall when he moved. They both hooked themselves to the insides of his palms so he decided it was safe enough for them. He turned and ran towards the rest of the corps, hearing Levi’s angry curses and Hanji’s excited mumbling as she peeked through his fingers.

He was still surprised at how fast he was. It took no effort and no time to get to the rest of the expedition. Screams and cries for orders, hands gripping the blades, terrified faces and panicked eyes everywhere. It was no good, so he slowed down a good ten meters before them, opening his palms and crouching, setting both Hanji and Levi on the ground.

“Good job, Jean!” Hanji patted his finger and he smiled, nodding, watching her run towards Commander who came galloping and his expression left no doubts – he wanted explanations and fast. But while Hanji jumped at him, talking with the speed of light about everything, Jean noticed something else. The titans.

Three left the edge of the forest and were running their way now, with those stupid faces and mouths hanging open. He didn’t have to think to know what he should do. If there was one good way to prove he was himself, and that he meant no harm, protecting everyone from the titans would be the best. So he got up, ignoring Hanji’s scream to wait, and he turned, walking in titans direction, balling his fists. Only now he looked down at them properly again, taking notice of the spikes on his knuckles. His eyes followed up his forearms where his elbows were covered too, a spike as long as his finger at the end of it and a few smaller on both sides. Same went for his knees, but there the crystal spread lower, protecting his shins as well. His feet were covered too, and his nails replaced with claws. Pretty deadly, he thought, grinning to himself as the titans came closer.

He grabbed the first one, barely a 7 meter, by the head with both hands and smashed a knee into its throat, ripping the head apart and tossing it away, for a moment tempted to throw it at the next titan approaching. A 10 meter maybe, ugly as hell and growling at him. He caught its shoulder with one hand, punching it with his fist and shivering at how his knuckles dug into the hot flesh. Was it supposed to be this pleasurable? It was. He kicked at the titans’ ankle, pushing it to the ground and smashing his foot into the back of its neck. And the third one? The 3 meter class seemed like a joke to him, barely bigger than a human. He just kicked it and then stomped on it until nothing was left of it.

It felt good, so fucking good. The strength, the power. He felt like he could do anything, like he could kill them all, avenge all of his friends that died in uneven battle. Franz. Thomas. Mina. Hanna. And Marco. His Marco. A growl rumbled in his throat. Where were the other titans? He wanted more. To kill more and feel the pleasure of flesh ripping apart under his fingers.

“Jean!”

Hanji’s call interrupted his train of thought and he turned his head to see her galloping to him. There were no other titans in sight, only the steaming corpses by his feet. There was no point in running into the forest to look for them now, was there?

“Jean, can you turn back?” Hanji called at him again and he crouched slowly shaking his head.

“Why?” She demanded and he noticed the uncertainty, the disbelief in her voice. She didn’t trust him, even she… After all the evenings they spent talking, all the jokes and training together. Even she didn’t trust him now. He tried not to feel betrayed but he did anyway, gritting his teeth. It wasn’t fair of her. He had no idea what happened and how and even less how to turn it back. Well, at least she wasn’t trying to slice him like Levi did…

“Jean, if you don’t turn back, we will have to cut you out!”

Oh fucking fabulous. Now that was a low blow! He pulled back, scowling and letting out a growl of protest. He was a titan maybe, but every cut still hurt! He shook his head, annoyed with her. Really, Hanij? After everything they’d been through, and she wanted to cut him out, just like that?

“We can’t leave you here, Jean!” She called, her tone stronger but… Was there another, almost afraid tone to it? No. He was imagining it. He was imagining it because of what happened between them last week but he should be wiser than to think it meant as much to her. He turned his head away from her, huffing. She became his friend in the past months, she made him see the brighter side of life even in all the death around them, but that was it.

“Jean, you need to try! Try and change back! Maybe think about home! Think about going out of this, out of some box! Think about ripping the ties that bind you!” He passed him some ideas but they weren’t all that great. She was surely trying her best, even if he didn’t feel any ties, or cage holding him or... Anything like that. He felt his whole new body and that was it. No pain, not wound in his leg, no fear.

“Come on! You turned into one, you can turn back now! I know you can! Just do it, Jean!” She called again and he grumbled, a low sound escaping him as he leaned closer, shaking his head. He couldn’t. He didn’t know how!

“It’s no use, Hanji.” He heard another voice and turned his head sharply. He didn’t even notice Levi approaching , too occupied with his thoughts. But now a shiver went through him, seeing the Captain with his blades out and unyielding look on his face.

“Listen, kid. You have a minute to change back or I will cut you out.” Levi said, as composed and cold as ever, preparing his gear. “I’ll try not to injure you too much but you’ll have to stay still for that.”

He growled at him, shaking his head.

“We can’t have you running around the walls, plotting with your shifter friends. Whatever game you’re playing, you’re going with us.”

He growled again, leaning closer to him.

 _Listen, you midget, I just fucking killed all those titans for you! A bit of trust maybe?_ He tried saying but the fucking whimpers was all that left him again. For fucks sake… Why wouldn’t those dumbasses freaking understand he WAS on their side? But no, Levi just glared at him, readying his swords.

“Turn. Right now, Kirschtein! That’s an order you stupid kid, turn right now!”

And if only it was this damn easy! If he could just think about it and pop out of his own fucking neck like…

Another whimper left him, this time due to shock. His skin was ripping, breaking on the nape of his neck… That wasn’t his neck at all. He was falling in something huge, his hands, legs, face even attached to wet, hot flesh. He was falling, hearing Hanji’s scream, and then the ground shook as something huge hit it. What the fuck!

He started writhing in panic, pulling his hands and biting at the flesh on his cheek, just to get out from the hot strings that held him in place. He managed to free his right hand first and used it to tug and rip the rest of the tendons that bound him. Gasping heavily he kicked and scratched at the rest of the fleshy ties, making his way out of the titans’ neck in the clouds of steam.

A familiar sound of 3DMG made him look up sharply and he saw Levi standing over him, and then Hanji landed right next to him, her expression both delighted and worried at the same time. How did she even manage that?! He had no idea but maybe it was just him. There was something terribly wrong with his eyes because his vision was getting more and more blurred.

“Jean! Are you okay?” She asked, stumbling in to help him get out, catching him under his arms and pulling him out. And he sobbed, suddenly realizing that what was blurring his vision were… tears. Why was he crying? What was this crushing heaviness in his chest? This pain, twisting his gut in the worst way. Marco… Why was his friend dead, why was he gone… Marco… He couldn’t help it, breaking into pathetic sobs. He barely felt Hanji pulling him out, then other hands, probably Levi’s, tugging him, carrying him down. His mind was hazy and his chest clenched in suffering. Why. Marco, why are you gone, Marco? Why did you have to die, Marco? Why do I remember your terrified eyes? Why do I hear your screams now? Why are you crying, Marco? Why am I crying with you? What happened, what happened, Marco, why are you crying my name, Marco…

Everything blurred out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your comments, opinions and ideas will be VERY appreciated <3
> 
> I hope I didn't break your hearts completely...

**Author's Note:**

> I might write more if people like it... Comments and ideas very welcome!
> 
> You can also find me on [tumblr](marquewrites.tumblr.com).


End file.
